Embracing the Now: A Play Therapist Parent's Journey of Imperfect Parenting
As a play therapist and a parent, I've learned that the most beautiful and profound moments in life often come from the spaces where we least expect them—the moments where we embrace imperfection, live in the now, and allow ourselves to be fully present with our children, no matter how messy life gets.
Parenting is hard. It’s a journey filled with joy, frustration, laughter, and tears—sometimes all within the same day. It’s easy to get caught up in the fear of getting it wrong, of making mistakes that might leave a lasting impact on our children. But here’s a truth I’ve come to hold dear: mistakes are not just inevitable; they’re essential.
The Power of Repair
Mistakes are where the magic happens. They give us opportunities to model one of the most critical skills we can teach our children: repair. Repair is more than just saying "I'm sorry." It's an act that heals not only the relational rift but also nurtures neurobiological connections. It shows our children that even when things go wrong, we can make them right again.
Repair isn't just for the big things, either. It’s in the small moments—when we snap out of frustration or fail to listen attentively, as we should. When we own our mistakes, apologize, and strive to do better, we’re teaching our children that it's okay to be imperfect. We're also showing them how to navigate their own emotions and relationships.
Staying Curious and Flexible
One of the best gifts we can give ourselves and our children is to stay curious. Curiosity keeps us from becoming rigid and allows us to set realistic expectations—for ourselves and our kids. Parenting isn't about adhering to a rigid playbook; it's about staying open to the constant changes that life throws our way.
Life, after all, is anything but static. Our children are continually growing and evolving, and so must our approaches to parenting. When we stay curious, we can respond to their needs as they are, not as we wish them to be.
This summer, I’ve been focusing on the idea of connection—connecting with our children as they are right now. It’s about focusing on the child in front of you, rather than wishing they were different. This practice not only helps us to embrace them fully but also frees us from the emotional baggage we often carry around without even realizing it.
No One Size Fits All
As a neurotypical mom raising two neurodivergent children who, in many ways, are opposites, I’ve learned that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. What works for one child might not work for the other—and that’s okay. Parenting is about knowing your child, understanding their unique needs, and tailoring your approach accordingly.
You can study neuroscience, human development, and learn all about different parenting strategies, but at the end of the day, it comes down to the interplay of these elements and your gut instinct. Don’t trust anyone who claims to have all the answers because, in truth, no one does. What we can offer are general strategies and insights that might work for your family—but only you know your child best.
Looking Ahead
As I reflect on the summer, I am grateful for the time I’ve spent connecting with you. It’s been a season of growth, learning, and embracing imperfection. As we move towards fall, I’m excited to offer some parenting classes and webinars to continue this journey together.
Remember, the most important thing you can do as a parent is to stay flexible, stay curious, and most importantly, stay connected to your child as they are—right here, right now. Embrace the mistakes, cherish the repair, and know that you’re not alone on this journey. We’re all in this together, learning and growing with our children, one imperfect moment at a time.
Wishing you all the best as you navigate the ever-changing landscape of parenting.
I hope to see you in the fall!
Amy’s Book Recommendations:
Go the F&*@ to Sleep
This very short and very funny book by Adam Mansbach is a much cherished audio book in my library. This book is a cathartic bedtime story that’s written for parents who are incredibly tired at the end of the day. The words are lyrical and manage to very effectively capture the moments before bedtime as the parent holds desperately on to their best selves while their small children battle sleeping. I love this little book because it holds my impulsive thoughts and puts them to rhymes. Given the content of this week’s blog, I thought we could all use a chance to connect to each other as parents who are trying, failing, and pushing forward in an effort to raise the magical beings in our lives. Content warning: It’s in the title, but there are loads of swears.
Instructions 2+
I’m selfishly suggesting this book in the hopes that others will love this little book as much as I do. The truth about every adventure story is that the protagonist must leave home to find out that what they really want, is to go back home. “Instructions” is an illustrated book by Neil Gaimon that is written for that adventurer. In a few short pages, Gaimon communicates the rules of adventure, what’s important to remember, and how to get home when the adventure is done. I found it surprisingly profound and saw elements from classical fiction and folklore on every page.
We hope you have enjoyed Amy’s book recommendations this summer! Let us know if you would like more by commenting below.
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